Reflections: Life's special moments

Time is seemingly endless. Yet we often do not have enough of it. On the other hand, it is one thing in life that is a constant. The hours, days, weeks and years are a handful of the few things in life which keeps moving forward and never looks back. While each of our individual periods of time on earth are limited, it is a constant that time will continue on with or without us. This is a good reason to make the most of the time we do have.

As individuals, we can reflect on times gone by. Days gone by cannot be repeated, so the only thing we can do is reflect upon, learn from, or simply remember past days. Special moments are times which have meaning and are typically something etched in our minds forever.

Life's special moments may relate to a special person, event or just that, a moment. It could be a smile, a kind word, a loving embrace or a chance meeting. Special moments can be memorialized and attached to a special song, movie or other more tangible presence. Or they could exist solely in our minds as a special defining time.

• Have you ever met someone that passed through your life quickly but had a significant impact?
• Do you reflect on the first time you fell in love or received your first kiss?
• How about your wedding day or the birth of your child?
• The first time you learned how to ride a bike by yourself?
• The day you hit the winning home run in a baseball game?

There are probably an infinite number of memories in the past that reside in your mind, either consciously or subconsciously, and can be remembered as special moments. Treasure these because these are the moments which make up life, and those of which provide hope for the future.

 
While it is true we all sometimes experience bad times, it is often a good idea to take the time to think back and reflect upon life's special moments, both those which have passed and thoughts of those still destined to come.

Going through life in a pattern of negativity that puts too much energy into trivial matters is not only exhausting, it detracts from the things that are most important in life. Live life to the fullest and don't waste time on the things that really don't matter in the long run. Instead focus on life's special moments, both past and present, that make life so, well…special.

A new day begins

New Year's reflections: Reaching happiness

Today is New Year's Day, a day many people use to reflect on the past and plan for the future, both of which usually are connected to some level of happiness or content. This got me thinking about a piece I'd originally written in 2007 about reaching happiness and decided to update for today as I consider my goals for 2016. The original title I'd written to was "The Myth of a Secret to Happiness."

If the secret to happiness was located in a treasure box, this is one box most people would probably love to find the key to unlock it and discover its contents. Throughout life many people are in pursuit to find everlasting happiness, some are able to achieve a level of happiness while others continue to desperately seek a semblance of it. Is there a such thing as true contentment? Is total happiness even attainable? Or is the level of content simply something that comes from within oneself?

While many things are unknown, one thing is for certain, there is no one fits all answer or secret to finding true happiness. If an individual looks into his or her inner self, this is the first and most important step in the journey to discovering true happiness.

Approaches and lessons I've experienced to help set the tone to keeping my energy positive include:

• Not letting negative people or situations maintain a "rent free" residence in my head. People cannot and do not have the power to change the behavior of others, so why let it consume you? Personally I've found once I've "let go", things suddenly seem so much easier, almost as if a huge burden has been lifted.

• Adversity can have a positive effect, it doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Life has its challenges and puts roadblocks, sometimes big ones, on the route to achieving happiness, but these bumps in the road are often the hurdles needing to be crossed to lead a person to appreciate good times or learn something important.

• Satisfaction with inner self makes you happier than any material things possibly can. Does the definition of happiness equate to getting every single thing you could ever possibly want or need? Material things are tangible and can temporarily bring happiness, but they cannot truly fulfill an inner void. Those voids ultimately surface later on.

• Finding the ability to be comfortable in your own company and enjoying it is one of the important paths to take to happiness. A large part of achieving happiness is first learning how to like yourself.

• Living with the philosophy of being proactive and not reactive. This is a big one for me. Choosing words and actions carefully rather than rashly responding allows time to think. I've found focusing on the positive instead of the negative does amazing things to the psyche. Anger and resentment can turn out to be big roadblocks in the journey to happiness.

• Happiness comes from within, and then external factors perhaps enhance it. Finding peace with oneself and one's surroundings contributes to achieving happiness. It's OK to make mistakes, part of the happiness journey is learning from mistakes.

• Learn from the experience of others. I once made a friend, it was a brief friendship, we lost track years ago, but some words of wisdom he shared with me will stay with me forever. It changed my outlook on life. I doubt he even had a clue the positive energy he sent my way had such an impact. People often drift in and out of one another's lives never even knowing what effect they've had on someone else. 

Reaching happiness is no mythical secret, but I believe it can be reached through a series of self-reflection and positive energy. Disappointment, anger and regret have a tendency to consume an individual's persona and get in the way of happiness. However, we can push that stuff aside to reignite good feelings and move to a happier life.

Once you get there, share it with others. Happiness has a tendency to be contagious.
Happy New Year! Wishing all the best things for you in 2016.


Photo credit: Leigh Goessl/All rights reserved

Music: Going from 'Retro' to 'Oldie'

Photo credit: Leigh Goessl

When does music go from "retro" to "oldie"? Is there even a difference between the two? 

I've always likened "retro" as days of yesterday, but not too far back in the past, and  the "oldies" was the stuff from my grandparents' era. 

Now I'm not so sure!

Anyone growing up in the 1970s probably considers the '50s and part of the '60s as "oldies" music. For instance, in the greater New York City area, we had a radio station - 101.1 (CBS-FM) - that played music from earlier eras, making it one of the only radio stations (at least that I was aware of) in the region on the dial to play oldies all day long. 

In my memories, this is mostly Elvis, sock-hop type of stuff, mixed in with "downtheshore" and beach music. 

Fast forward to today and what a shock for me when I traveled up north and tuned into 101.1 FM. They were playing primarily 1980s music with a splash of '70s tunes. This even included hair bands and classic rock mixed in with some soft rock and pop songs. 

A few years back I first heard '80s music referred as "retro", but I guess the time has come where it has officially transitioned into 'oldies' music.  Where do the years go? 

Needless to say, this is now one of my more favorite stations to when visiting the greater NYC area (lol).

How did you first feel when the music you listened to as a kid/teen turned into "oldies" tunes?

Reflections on 'What could have been'

Photo credit: Leigh Goessl

Why focusing on the past too much can get in the way of your future...

It is said things happen for a reason, but when tragedy hits, a true love is lost, or another unexpected twist of events occurs, it is often difficult to understand the "why" of it all. Reconciling with thoughts of what could have been if things worked out as you'd planned or hoped is not always easy. 

The reason being, we can't always control what hand of cards life decides to deal us and, as a result, we are forced to reckon with the hand we are dealt. The thoughts of what could have been, had another hand been offered, is intriguing, but it can't change the reality of what's already occurred.

There are a few factors we can control. At each turning point in our lives we come to a crossroads and must choose which path to follow. Sometimes we make the 'right' choices, and other times we make the 'wrong' ones. As a result, we might travel a less than optimal path.

Reflecting on what could have been can't change where we've traveled because it is in the past -- which cannot be undone. The upside of reflecting on past people and events in life is that they can help carve and/or shape your future. This happens through the wisdom gained from the paths traveled. Wistful thinking doesn't offer this insight because it keeps us locked in a place where time stands still and doesn't allow us to move forward.

Another facet to consider are the choices of other people. Often the decisions made by others impact our lives and forever alter the paths we follow. Sometimes this is a good thing, other times there is potential to lead down a darker path. Timing seems to be a pivotal issue.

Have you ever met someone in your life you were immediately drawn to? Someone with whom you bonded so naturally and felt an immediate strong connection with from the first moment you met? Love at first site perhaps? Not necessarily even a love connection, but a strong bond nonetheless. For reasons due to 'timing', the relationship doesn't work out despite obvious strong feelings for one another and you are forced to part ways.

When situations like this occur it is sometimes wistful to think about what could have been had situations been different or the relationship had occurred at another time in life. Yet this wistful thinking on what may have been doesn't change the reality of it all.

If anything, getting lost in the past has a tendency to imprison and trap people in a place that prevents a person from living freely due to a preoccupation with a past that couldn't be. As a result, this can have a domino effect and a tendency to impact other relationships.

Despite the what ifs, things in life have a strange way of working out. Yes a terrible or life changing event may have happened, and while things are different, a new path can be carved. Or a love may have been lost, but happiness and true love can be found with another. 

We can only control the immediate space surrounding ourselves and that's about the scope of control we have. It doesn't serve a purpose to continually wonder what could have been, but it is proactive to look at what can be as we forge ahead into the future.

While it is hard not to reflect on thoughts of what could have been had different paths been chosen or alternate decisions made, innate thoughts on what could have been doesn't really serve a purpose in the long run. We cannot go back in time and make changes, but we do have the power to shape our lives.

Although, sometimes it is nice to think about what would be changed if it was possible.